To be on the lookout also often means to be disappointed
Berlin, 8 p.m. I was visiting Anni on the weekend. We walked through their neighbourhood with a hangover and my mood was semi-good. Although we had a really nice evening with great people. I felt like I was dancing again after years. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel happy because about a month ago I met a really funny guy at work who happened to be in Berlin at the same time as me.
Our contact was not so good from the start, because the good man is not a WhatsApp fan and a meeting outside of work also did not take place because something always came up. So I was hoping for a spontaneous meeting in Berlin. On Saturdays we then phoned and he wanted to send me his location afterwards so that we can meet. I haven’t got it until today.
On Saturdays we then phoned and he wanted to send me his location afterwards so that we can meet. I haven’t got it until today.
A fair question now would be whether maybe he wasn’t interested in me at all. But I describe myself as a person who can interpret sympathy and signals, so it wasn’t just one-sided. But after the number I really didn’t feel like it anymore and in combination with a bad hangover it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
The longing for a partnership
I was really disappointed and sad. Not even because it was him, but because the desire for a nice partnership is really great. When I talk to my friends about it, they’ll know what I’m talking about. Whether about Tinder, Bumble, real life – the disappointments as a single pile up.
Either you are hosted, appointments are canceled shortly beforehand, communication does not work or or or. Before a meeting can even take place. That frustrates!
When I talk to my friends about it, they’ll know what I’m talking about. Whether about Tinder, Bumble, real life – the disappointments as a single pile up.
So Anni and I were walking through the neighbourhood and she asked me how I was doing. I shrugged my shoulders and replied: “I’m tired and kind of annoyed, but it’s okay!” Then something happened that totally surprised me myself. She asked me if I was also afraid of not being held anymore. Baaaam! An avalanche of tears streamed out of me and I crouched down. Anni knelt next to me and took me in her arms.
Her words hit a nerve that I loved to dance away, worked away, ergo ignored. I broke off contact with the boy in question. And feel better with it.
No matter how great my desire for a deep connection is, I don’t want to get frustrated anymore! Setting this limit was anything but easy for me. Comparable to the acceptance that “summer 2021” will be over before it has really started. We all secretly hope for a few nice, warm days, right?
No matter how great my desire for a deep connection is, I don’t want to get frustrated anymore! Setting this limit was anything but easy for me.
Just like my heart will keep hoping to arrive one day! But maybe not until next summer? And until then?
I’ll put on a sweater in August, connect with my wonderful friends: inside, and today, 3 days later, I’m happy that I was finally dancing again!
Breathe, peace and love,
your Anette